I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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