I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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