Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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