im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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