I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
he fucked my hip out of place.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize