Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
