What did we do last night that was yellow?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
