I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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