your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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