I can't watch pbs sober anymore
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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