You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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