The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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