if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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