idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize