Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
