watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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