remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
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there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
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I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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