I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
