So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize