Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
