girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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