My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
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