I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
