Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Randomize
