Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
