People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize