I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
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