I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
and she was petting her beer can
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
