i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize