I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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