You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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