last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
