she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize