you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize