Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
