a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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