A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize