I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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