Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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