i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
