you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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