Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
