I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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