Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
