girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
