i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize