How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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