So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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