All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Do vagina's smell?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
