Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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