A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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