I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
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Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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