About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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