If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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