if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
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I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
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We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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