If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
