I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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