apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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