Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
