I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You don't make any sense
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